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Britney Update!

April 22, 2003: Long-lost interview.

Britney v. Walter Cronkite!  The world must know: Who will win?!

Hello, this is Walter Cronkite. My guest tonight is Britney Spears.

Hi, Walty! Do you mind if I call you Walty?

Yes, I do.

Ha! You're funny, Walty!

Will you please stop calling me that?

Um, no.

Fine. Let's just get on to the questions, then.

Anything for you, Walty!

You recently said that you're not a role model and that parents should explain this to their children.

What? That doesn't sound like me. Are you sure I said that?

Yes! Don't you feel that this statement is unfair to all the young people who look up to you already?

Hey! Who do I have to fuck to get some Coke...er, I mean, Pepsi, around here?

Could you please answer the question, Ms. Spears?

Well, Walty, you see, the thing about that is...

Who are you looking at?

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman...

What are you doing? Why are you singing?

All I need is time, a moment that is mine...

You're not answering the question. You're just singing that damn song! Answer my question, please!

I don't think so.

While I'm in-between!

I used to think, I knew the answers to everything...

Don't stand up! Please sit down! Oh, god! This is my worst interview ever!

Silly Walty, no it isn't. Your worst interview ever is going to be tomorrow night...

When you talk to Christina Aguilera! God, I hate that bitch!