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Britney Update!

July 28, 2003: Late-breaking news.

Britney v. Walter Cronkite!  Part two!

Hello, this is Walter Cronkite. Tonight, we have a special interview with fugitive Saddam Hussein.  Saddam?  Are you there?

Hi, Walty!

You?!  Where's Saddam?

Oh, I told him that U.S. Special Forces were outside the door.  I've never seen a man run so fast!

What are you doing here?  Why do you keep ruining my interviews?

Well, my manager told me that I needed to get some face time with you.

What?  Face time?  What is that?

I know!  That's what I was like, too.  I said, "What the hell is face time?"

At first, I thought that he wanted me to give you a blow job!  I was, "Oh my God!  That's so gross.  Walty is, like, 200 years old!"

But then the more I thought about it, I started to realize, "Hey!  It might not be so bad!"

Can we get security in here?

But then my manager said, "No, you stupid twat.  Face time just means that you make an appearance on his show!"

Isn't that funny, Walty?  I thought that he wanted me to perform fellatio on you!!

Ha ha!  I'm so stupid!

God must really hate me.

Ok, Walty, time for me to go.  I have to get some face time with Tom Brokaw now.

Bye-bye!!!

By all that is good and holy, Britney must be stopped.