www.neoplatonic.com

Death to tyranny!

neodocuments

neoforums

Britney Update!

January 7, 2004: Britney marries, hearts worldwide broken

Part of the allure of being a male fan of a female popstar is the secret fantasy that, some day, she might marry you!  The fantasy can go something like this:

You attain a front-row ticket to one of her concerts, and you go holding a huge bouquet of red roses.  As she's on stage dancing and singing, she sees you, sees the fires of pure love for her burning in your eyes, and after the show she sends you a note, inviting her to come to her dressing room.  The next thing you know, you're married, and all is well in the world. 

Or, an alternate fantasy might involve a fan website, wherein you devote megabyte after megabyte to her charms and beauty.  You know full well that she doesn't browse the Internet, in fact, barely even knows how to read, but, one fine day, curious, she decides to see if there really are huge spiders infesting the world wide "web."  She laboriously types her name into a search engine, and, behold!, your fan site comes up first.  She visits it, is so touched by your adoration that she decides to locate and visit you that very day.  Evening falls, and you hear a knock at your door, and wedding bells soon thereafter! 

On January 4, 2004, Britney destroyed this fantasy with one fell swoop by marrying a childhood friend.  The marriage was annulled the next business day, but, still, it sucks to be you.*

The happy couple is registered at Wal-Mart.  They are in dire need of toasters.

More specimens of the Louisiana male.  How could Britney resist?

See the last Britney update here!